Sometimes, I'm dumb.

Why is it that when a guy doesn't call me, I think about him more?

This is New York City. Manhattan isn't exactly suffering from a dearth of single men. You'd think I would just go off and find someone else, and then start thinking about him. And that when it didn't work out, I'd just repeat the process.

I do. It's easy to meet people here. All you have to do is make eye contact and BAM — you've made a new friend. Most of the time he'll buy you a drink. He'll always ask for your number.

I haven't spoken to the guy in question in two months. He's cocky, self involved, vain and flaky. Unfortunately, he's also tall, gorgeous, funny, smart and good in bed … really good in bed.

At first he was nearly perfect. He was the guy who made an effort to meet my friends, picked me up when he said he would, liked primarily red wine but not Merlot because it's disgusting, watched Jeopardy but not Wheel of Fortune, worshiped The New York Times to the point of subscription, had a wickedly sarcastic sense of humor, a journalistically cynical view of the world and an Ivy League education.

Attentive, sweet, charming — we had so much in common.

And then he turned into an idiot. Or maybe he was an idiot the whole time and I just didn't notice because of his perfectly white teeth and perfect chest hair to chest proportions.

He became increasingly difficult to see, broke plans and tried to make them at 2 a.m. He'd apologize for his behavior and then promise to put in more effort. And then he'd fail, miserably.

Given the utter lack of communication and the fact that I haven't seen him since the last time he rolled out of my bed and kissed me goodbye in January, you'd think I would have stopped thinking about him by now.

Except I can't. I don't know if it's the absence of an explanation or what, but thoughts of Josh invade my mind on a daily basis. I say invade because I don't want them there. I don't need to date people who are difficult to date, I tell myself.

Then I go stalk him on Facebook.

Since I refused to add him as a Facebook friend when I was sleeping with him, I have to stalk his limited profile. It's a bit late to add him now and see the entirety of the Facebook profile. Especially since it will just increase the amount of time I spend wondering if he's sleeping with every girl who likes his status.