A note.

A guy in a plaid shirt tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a napkin at Brass Monkey. It was folded in half with a pen in the middle.

Plaid guy: It's from the guys at the end of the bar.
Me: Uhhhh
Plaid guy: Don't worry, it's just a note. There's not a dead animal folded in there or anything.
Me: Oh...well, that's good.

He left. I opened the napkin. It read, "You look bored. Come over here and party, we have girl scout." There was a "yes" box and a "no" box. The no box was crossed out to indicate that it was not an option.

Before I really had time to think about what "we have girl scout" could mean, they sent me a girl scout cookie. Unfortunately, it had coconut in it, and I'm allergic. I sent back a note that said, "I'm allergic," and a friend ate the cookie.

They never came over to talk to me. And I wasn't bored, I was watching the super bowl.

If you thought the last round of guys were crazy..

A guy got on the 5 train and starting quoting the bible, and yelling that "Jesus loves you," etc. I assumed he was crazy.

He kept walking back and forth in the train car, and then hovered by my friend Sam and me. We were getting off at the next stop, so I wasn't too worried when he started directing the preaching my way.

The train stopped, I started walking out to the platform.

Crazy: Do you love Jesus?
Me: No.

Then he followed us out onto the platform, which we were walking across to catch the 6 train.

Crazy: Can I sit with you on the train?
Me: No.
Crazy: Why not? I just want to be your friend.
Me: No.
Crazy: Just let me take you out sometime.
Me: No.
Crazy: What are you doing for the super bowl?
Me: Watching it.
Crazy: Want to watch it with me?
Me: No.
Crazy: Why not?
Me: I have plans.
Crazy: Can I come?
Me: No.
Crazy: Well can I get your number so I can take you out?
Me: No.
Crazy: What about Facebook? Can I Facebook you?
Me: No.
Crazy: I think you're my soul mate.
Me: Well I'm not.
Crazy: I love your eyes. You're really beautiful. Do you think I'm cute?
Me: No.
Crazy: So you think I'm ugly?
Me: Yes.
Crazy: Why?
Me: You're annoying.
Crazy: But that has nothing to do with my face. Do you think I have an ugly face?
Me: Go away.
Crazy: Oh. I get it. You don't like black men.

Contrary to the belief of every black man that I haven't wanted to talk to, I actually do like black men. I do not, however, like crazy men.

At this point, a very normal looking couple boarded the train. The crazy continued to ask me why I didn't want to talk to him, why I wasn't paying attention to him, etc.

Then he got up and started quoting things from the bible. Before he got off the train he looked at me and said, "I want to mack on you in the name of Jesus."

The man from the normal couple looked at me, and asked if the crazy man had really just said that. Yes, normal man. He really just said that.